There is a particular kind of pressure that arrives every September, whether or not anyone in your house still goes back to school, we can still get that going back to school feeling – that the holidays are now over and it is time to “get back to it”.  It might not necessarily be a feeling of panic, but it can be something close to it if you are thinking the year is closing in on you and so much of what you wanted to do still seems so far away.

For a lot of women in midlife, this shows up as a private kind of arithmetic of time slipping away again.  How many months are actually left this year, how far have you drifted from whatever it is you set out to do earlier in the year – is there still time?   How can you now fit it all in?  How can you prioritise something for you?

As the evenings start drawing in, as they do now where I am in the UK, that idea of another year slipping away can feel even more imposing when the darkness sets in for the coming of winter.

I see this often with my midlife clients, especially when there is so much else on their plates and their own goals and dreams constantly feel like they are the last priority.  Even if the goal at the beginning of the year had been to focus more on themselves or to take some big decisions in their lives – when they hit September and these things still haven’t even been started, let alone completed, it can be the point where they feel a failure all over again for not taking the action towards what they want and need. 

It’s just a calendar, but we can make the slipping of the year mean something when it feels like there is a failed goal and so little time left in the year to achieve it.  Even if you are in the southern hemisphere where the summer lands in the calendar year end, it can still feel like September landing is the year slipping away from you. 

The Season Underneath The Pressure

In Traditional Chinese Medicine, late summer is associated with the Earth element — the gathering and harvest (storing for the winter).  The element is also reflected in our digestive system and can be thought of as the nourishment or fullness of the year so far, or not as the case may be! 
The warmth, slower days of summer leisure and periods of holidaying are gone, and a different type of energy fills this period of the year.

Drawing into our Autumn belongs to an entirely different element:  the Metal element governs sorting, clarity and letting go.  When it's balanced, this shows up as a clean and useful kind of discernment and calmly sorting through things — it’s knowing what still matters and what you can let go of.  When we are fighting against something that hasn't been let go of yet, or there is a feeling of giving up, this same energy can slip into rigidity; a harsh type of self-judgement; and a grinding sense that everything unfinished has suddenly become urgent all at once or is now unattainable.

This is the actual mechanism behind the September pressure.  It isn't proof you've failed at something; but a genuine seasonal pull toward sorting and releasing and then giving yourself permission to reset and rearrange goals for the remainder of the year instead of giving up.  This is the Metal element’s own quiet version of setting your boundaries – less about pushing back and more about sorting what still deserves your energy now.  Then letting go of the rest.

This is the same territory my last journal entry was reflecting upon, but from a slightly different angle.  Clearing Space for What Comes Next was written on the day of the new moon on a rare solar eclipse back in August — a seed being planted, a beginning made out of releasing what no longer fits.  Today after last night’s full moon it can feel like a further pull towards closing a cycle and resetting for the next quarter.    Giving yourself that permission to see the remaining quarter of the year not as a race to the end, but an opportunity to complete the next cycle with a new clarity that nothing is lost – time might not be infinite, but the best day to start something is always today.  Holding a stopwatch to your dreams isn’t going to bring them any closer when there is blame in your approach to taking action. 

The rest and recuperation of August can create the energy that you need to be ready now to get going again with what’s next – and this can be the perfect time for action.  There’s a reason that there is so much talk right now about September being the new January – because the latter part of the year can be a perfect time for fulfilling what was intended.   It’s not about big “resolutions” but the taking of action in those small simple moments and finding clarity within them.

What This Actually Looks Like

This Metal aspect in this season rarely announces itself as a new plan or a complete overhaul, it shows up more as a feeling than a to-do list: 

• A tightness that shows up the moment you glance at the calendar and register how few weeks are actually left…
• Catching yourself totting up the year so far — what got done, what didn't and holding a sense of blame over it…
• A low hum of guilt that surfaces the second you think about something you meant to have sorted by now…
• Wanting to fix everything at once, today, and this sense of panic preventing you from making the best decisions…

None of that is a character flaw.  It's your energy looking for somewhere useful to go, and prioritising urgency instead of clarity because time feels like its running out.

It Isn’t Lost Yet, The Year Is Not Over!

There's a line I keep coming back to from Traditional Eastern Therapies that fit this moment exactly:

Grief is not about Regret; it is about Release

You don't have to have lost something dramatic for this to apply; grief can be felt for the smallest of things in our lives as well as the big.  It could be a goal you quietly let go of; a version of this year you imagined in January that simply hasn’t materialised; or a decision you keep putting off. 

Being honest about when you are letting regret take over is the clarity that is needed.  You cannot change what is already gone, so constantly regretting the past and regretting what hasn’t been done yet, isn’t going to get you to where you want to go – it is just holding you back even more by undermining your ability to move forward or see reasonably the progress you might have actually made.  

Regret can make us give up entirely because we feel like we have not done enough or are somehow lacking the ability to succeed.

Releasing is instead reflecting upon the past with learning and clarity, there is a genuine benefit from everything we think of as failures because when we look at it with the realisation of what it has given us and where it has taken us, we can usually find some lesson that will hold us in good stead as we move forward.  
So, stopping the blame game and instead realising that what is done is done and cannot be changed, frees you to take the next step rather than wallowing in what is already passed.

Moving toward this latter end of the year, you can then instead sort through the goals outstanding with a clearer focus.  Decide what still genuinely matters to you, and what can honestly be released without being finished, without punishment, and without it meaning anything about your worth.

A Short Reflection

If you want to sit with this properly, try finishing these three lines honestly, in your journal or even just in your own head.

• The thing I'm still quietly measuring myself against from earlier this year is …
• If I let go of the blame, what can I learn from this year so far …
• What do I want to prioritise for me in the last part of this year …
  
  

Your Next Step

If any of this felt familiar, then stop focussing on that feeling that you've “fallen behind” and allow yourself instead to look for the opportunities still awaiting you.

There’s a genuine seasonal pull, arriving for the woman who's spent years being the one who sorts everyone else's needs first, and rarely gets asked what she'd actually choose to carry forward for herself.

That's exactly what my free Optional Needs Reset Worksheet helps you start to see clearly.  It will help you:

• name what's actually been pushed aside this year, underneath everyone else's list
• see the real cost of quietly making your own needs optional
• make one small commitment to yourself for the next part of this year

It gives you a clarity on how to take the right action that will actually create progress. 

You can start here: Access the free Optional Needs Reset Worksheet

Because the year isn't running out on you. 
It's simply moving into the next phase –
and every day is an opportunity.

Marie,
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